INTRO'S - Just as you sit down you let out one ripper of a fart.  This sonic 
blast can usually be felt/heard in the next room. 

GHOST SHIT - You know you've shit, there's shit on the toilet paper, but 
there's no shit in the toilet. 

TEFLON COATED SHIT - comes out so slick, clean and easy that you don't even 
feel it.  No trace of shit on the toilet paper.  You have to look for the 
shit in the toilet to be sire you did. 

GOOEY SHIT - This has the consistency of hot tar.  You wipe your ass about 
12 times and it still doesn't come clean.  You end up putting a wad of 
toilet paper in your underwear just so you don't stain your drawls.  This 
shit leaves permanent skid marks on the toilet. 

SECOND THOUGHTS SHIT - You're all done wiping your ass and you're about to 
stand up when you realize it- you've got to shit some more. 

POP A VEIN IN YOUR FOREHEAD SHIT - This is the kind of shit that killed 
Elvis.  It just won't come out until you're all sweaty and trembling and 
purple from straining so hard. 

RICHARD SIMMONS SHIT - You shit so much you lose ten pounds. 

RIGHT NOW SHIT - You'd better be within 30 seconds of a toilet.  It usually 
has its head out before you get your pants down. 

GREEN SHIT - Comes the day after you eat spinach. 

KING DONG or COMMODE CHOKER SHIT - This shit is so big that you know it 
won't go down the toilet unless you break it into smaller chunks.  A coat 
hanger works well.  This kind of shit usually happens at someone else's 
house. 

CORK SHIT - Also known as floaters.  Even after the third flush, it's still 
floating in there.  My god!, how do I get rid of it?  This shit also usually 
happens at someone else's house. 

WET CHEEKS SHIT - This is the shit that hits the water sideways and makes a 
BIG splash that gets your ass all wet. 

WISH SHIT - You sit there all cramped up and a fart squeaks out every once 
in a while, but no shit. 

CEMENT BLOCK SHIT - You wish you'd gotten a spinal block before you shit. 

SNAKE SHIT - This shit is fairly soft, about as big around as your thumb, 
and at least three feet long. 

MEXICAN FOOD SHIT - Also called the Screamers.  You'll know its alright to 
eat again when your asshole stops burning. 

BEER DRUNKS SHIT - This happens the day after the night before.  Normally 
your shit doesn't smell too bad, but this shit is BAD!!  Usually there's 
someone outside waiting to use the bathroom.  

U quhem Gjemshit Geshtaja e shoqt m'thirrin "Gji end Gji" ose Gjejm. 
Studijoj mashinerin , kam nje fascikell te zez me patent kujtim nga gjyshi (njeherit gjyshi im ishte mesues ne fshatin Makrefsh..ni katun afer Makapshit) jam pedant , Pantoll me vi , nga 47 fallta ne cecilen ane te pantollve, dhe i kam shum moderno "PIRAMIDKA" posht ngusht e nalt gjon (pasoj e falltave) dhe prap ngusht... rrypin ee holl e cilla tregon nje pedanteri timen , dhe nje znaqk te Sabrines ne rryp. Kmishen e cfilles ngjyr te kuqe me jastaka , poashtu edhe setren me jastaka te gjan dhe e shkurt ku vizllimat e kesaj setre te asocirojn ne mbeshtjellse t'bombonjerave. Singjirat 2 gisht trash qe do te keni pershtypje qi e kom qeizin e nanes me veti.  
Frizura: i kam floket e shendosha dhe te trasha kaqarrel per at arsye edhe i kam leshuar pak bishtat , perpara i kom te shtypura kaqarrelat dhe i mbaj gjithmon me gell. Sahatin e kam SEIKO 5  ku e kam fituar duke i rrezuar durt ne nje qajtore t'vendlijndjes time. 
Hobi: Vrapim shprint dhe Biliard. 
Ushqimi me i dashtur: Shpageta edhe Hamburger. 
Kepucet: Kepucet me zile e te vizlluara qi 7 magjup mu qyr n'to. 
Qorapet: Qorapet e bardha me shenje pe PUMA-s 

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P.S. 
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